Allegory 2000.
by Alan Smithee
Summary: Experimental. Insightful to Alan Smithee's inner condition. Using Wesley Willis lyrics. Probably done while candy flipping. So why is this one one of the most hit and most reviewed ones I've ever had? R/R/Love again.


  
(Once again, characters by SquareSoft [However, apparently everyone else has given a name to the person who just generically played ZELL'S LOVE INTEREST IN A SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT TO THROW CRIMP IN WHAT MOST WOULD PREDICT AS THE END TO THE GAME and at last check I was a heterosexual male...who just so happens to be a drama geek...and just so happens to own LFO's CD, so I just picked a random name out of a name generator], song by Wesley Willis, attempt to make a concept by me.)   
  
Zell Dincht walked into Squall's dorm to find his old buddies just relaxing.  
"Hey, guys! What's up!" Zell asked.  
"Not much. Just chilling, having a Bud..." Squall replied.  
"Ah. True..."   
"So, Zell, what's been going on...otherwise?"  
"You know. I never see all of you guys anymore."  
"I know. It's kind of weird. All of us are paired off and just do the couple thing. I have Rinoa, Quistis can always have one of her Trepies tag along, hell, Irvine hooked up with Selphie and he's all gay and stuff!"  
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'm BI, dammit!" Irvine shouted.  
"Okay, then. Let your colors shine. But the point is, you don't really have any...person..." Squall replied.  
"I don't need any girls. I'm a bad-ass! All my time's spent in the Training Center!" Zell replied.  
"Okay, then, Kid Mark-er. Maybe we should go over to the library, check this out with, oh, Jocelyn?" Selphie asked.  
"OOOH.."Rinoa.  
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT'S NOT TRUE! THEY MADE THAT UP TO MAKE ME SEEM MORE SENSITIVE!"  
"Look man, I'll level with you. You'd better make a move. Otherwise, we're going to have to file you on the other side of the dugout." Squall replied.  
"Why? Because I value my training? What's the problem?"  
"Okay. If you REALLY don't have any interest in Jocelyn, it's cool. Besides, Irvine was saying how he wanted to give her a demonstration in OTHER places he's a 'sharpshooter', if you get my drift..."  
"Um, I have to go...Return this copy of Combat King! Yeah, that's the ticket!" Zell replied.  
"Okay. We'll keep a seat warm for you." Squall replied. Zell ran out of the room. He distinctly heard all of them shout-singing "ZELL AND JOCELYN SITTING IN A TREE..."  
  
"Damn, those guys are childish..." Zell thought. "Well, I'm almost there." He headed into the library.  
"Zell! What's going on?" one of the library girls said.  
"Nothing. I brought back this Combat King..."  
"Ah. Good lesson, I take it?"  
"Yeah. Listen. Is...Jocelyn here?"  
"Yeah. Let me go get her." The girl headed over, her pigtail bouncing as she walked. "Zell! What's going on?"  
"Nothing. Listen. When are you off?"  
"Actually, I was just coming in to get a book. Why?"  
"I need to talk to you..." Zell heard the noise of some leather pants crinkling. "Somewhere that is not here. Come on."  
"Excellent. I know just the place." The two headed off to the "secret area."  
  
"So, why did you want to talk to me?" Jocelyn asked.  
"Well, I wrote you this poem..."  
"Excellent! You know I like to read..." The two laughed. Zell took it out.  
  
MY POEM.  
by Zell Dincht.  
"Ahem."  
  
Superman had a big "S" on his chest  
He was drawing on my nerves  
I got mad at his drunk ass  
I gave him a war hell ride  
  
I whipped Superman's ass!  
  
Jocelyn's face turned puzzled. Zell continued.  
  
Superman thought he was bad  
He was messing with my girlfriend  
I caught him in my room kissing her  
I took a rubber hose and flogged his rump  
  
I whipped Superman's ass!  
  
Jocelyn's face showed abject fear.  
  
Superman beat the hell out of me  
He knocked me to the floor  
I got back up and knocked him to the floor  
Superman was being such a roughneck  
  
I whipped Superman's ass!   
  
Rock over London, rock on Chicago  
Shell, it's the world's best-selling gasoline  
  
Jocelyn was silent. Finally, she spoke with a form of abject terror.  
"OH DEAR GOD, YOU'RE A POETRY SLAM ARTIST!" She started to run until Zell stopped her.  
"No, no, it's just that...I didn't know what would work well to win you over, so I just wrote whatever."  
"Like I said, a Poetry Slam artist."  
"Well, Is that a bad thing?"  
"Usually, at least if I told the other library girls..." Jocelyn pulled Zell closer. "..but then, I'm much more of an underground type."  
Zell only had one question. "Um, how did you like it?"  
"I've heard better. Could use some really good techno music behind it."  
  
When Zell walked back to his dorm, he saw the gang laughing.   
"SMOOTH MOVE, ROMEO!" Selphie shouted.  
"Yeah. 'I got mad at his drunk ass, I gave him a war hell ride, I kicked Superman's ass!' Oh, I'm gone. Sorry, Squall. Zell, take me now, right here in the Quad!" Rinoa laughed.  
"Don't worry, man. I won't make fun of it." Squall replied.  
"You're changing, man. That isn't the Squall Leonhart I know." Zell replied.  
"After all, to make fun of your poem would be quite like pooping on my own poop!" Squall replied.  
"Okay. Well, here's a quick haiku. Feel free to join in."  
  
"Do you like apples?" Zell started.  
"Um, they're okay..." the group replied.  
"Me and her have plans tonight."  
"How did you like those?" 


End file.
